Posted by
Maria Alexander # 4:46 PM
Long Live The Stainless Steel Rat!
I waded into the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books fairly early in the day yesterday. I have a love-hate relationship with the festival as it's usually scorching outside. This time the weather was pleasant but with some wind. I had one ticket, which was to see the Grand Masters of Science Fiction panel, where I hoped to see Scott Edelman.
But first I wandered into several booths, especially publishers I thought I might resonate with, and I started buying books. I discovered that, as soon as I said, "I'm a writer," the portcullis dropped with a resounding crash. It became obvious why: When I was in the Boom! Studios booth, a middle-aged woman walked up to one of the guys working there and immediately started in about how she was a writer and -- behold! -- here's her
self-published science fiction novel. The Boom! guy was trying to be polite, but it was obvious this was annoying him.
This is why you can't network at the Festival anymore. Even if you're a legit author like myself, no one will take you seriously because there are now so many bastards out there jacking off into a printing press. At least in France no one has the balls to say they're a writer unless they've been published by a professional press. It actually means something to call oneself a writer there. Now, if you're one of the .00001% who get picked up by an actual publisher, bully for you. (If you're writing non-fiction, that's another ball of wax. I have no problem with that.) But most of you? You're ruining what speck of respect we have left as writers.
Anyway, onto the good stuff.
I made it a bit late to the panel, which was brilliant. So many great bits of writing wisdom. When it broke up, I spotted Scott and called out to him. I met Sheila Williams, who was with him, and he took me up to introduce me to Robert Silverberg, Harry Harrison and Joe Haldeman. We wound up walking with them to their signing area. On the way there, I found myself in the elevator with my childhood writing heroes and I just...geek-gasmed. There is no better description. I geeked the fuck out, I was SO excited. I made Joe giggle, I was so tickled. I could have sworn, too, I got a few looks from Silverberg that said, "Damn. If only I was about 30 years younger." ;-)
And then I realized that Sheila Williams was
The Sheila Williams who had sent me the sweetest rejection letter ever last year, urging me to write more science fiction. I nearly had an aneurysm of happiness.
Scott got a photo of he and I together that I hope he'll share. It was fantastic to see him and I hope for more of the same at the Stoker Weekend.
Long live The Stainless Steel Rat!
Posted by
Maria Alexander # 9:49 PM
Up, up and away!
This new attraction at Disney World sounds
fun as long as you don't have vertigo.
And I wrote the page. Although, seeing it on the site, I'd definitely tweezer out all but one of those exclamation points. Ew.
Last night, I went to the Apple store in Pasadena to replace the worn earbuds for my iPhone. I was browsing through the Blue Tooth appliances, thinking perhaps I should invest in an Uhuru earplant thing. I picked one and went up to the Apple Guy to ask about compatibility with my phone and so forth.
He talked me out of it.
I said, "But my earbuds get all tangled in my purse."
"Well, next time you're untangling the earbuds, tell yourself that their battery will never die while you're on the road and that the sound reception will be a lot better. And..." he said, turning over the two boxes to compare the price tags, "...you've just saved a bunch of money."
I bought the earbuds and a nice new black rubber case cover.
This all happened after I was house hunting.
Let me tell you the reality of the "bargains" flooding the market right now in a cataract of foreclosures. Most of these places need work. Some are in dire condition. The people who lost homes in my price range were, for the most part, not only neglecting their homes but in a few cases they were actively
destroying them. Yes, I'm sad for them losing their places because they were deceived by predatory lenders. But I'm also sad that they didn't value what they had.
And the banks are still up to their old tricks. I was approved for a loan that is WAY more than I could ever pay on a monthly basis. I mean, up to $700 more a month than I could ever afford. I've had to consciously scale back the price to what I
know I can pay. I check everything with the amortization calculators, keeping in mind the home owners dues if it's a condo. Those can go as high as $350 a month.
So, it's not going terribly well. I do see a lot of places that I'd almost buy if it weren't for the post-apocalyptic scenery, the liquor store on the corner, the lack of indoor laundry hookups and AC, the mysterious water damage on the ceiling, the illegal additions, and so forth. Further, the home has to be approved by an FHA lender inspection before I can qualify for the awesome government loan program. It can't be too far gone in any way. I could of course qualify for a government fixer upper loan, but I'd rather not. Paint, spackle, carpets...maybe a sink or two...that's about where I draw the Tool Guy line.
My Agent Gal is very entertaining, sharp and hell bent on finding me a place. I have two realtors, actually, but Agent Gal is by far working the most for me. I think she's reading my blog now, so I'll wave at her and thank her for all her amazing energy and hard work.
And that is all for today.
Posted by
Maria Alexander # 1:19 PM
The Chords Came Raining
Last night, Lord Arux asked me to sing for him. "You promised you'd sing the John Cusack song," he said. He'd been saying this for weeks and I'd been shyly putting him off. He's a professional
chanteur and music arranger. I'd just shown him lyrics for my song "Don't Cry Baby Mithras Cos Jesus Stole Your Birthday," and now he was extra doubly curious with chocolate sprinkles on top.
So, he sat on my bed with me and his guitar, and I laid on my stomach, feet kicked in the air -- pretty much the worst singing posture in the history of vocal whotsits -- and I sang. And sang. And sang some more. He was completely thrilled with each song -- I sang maybe only three -- and kept saying things like, "Oh, god! This is
really good!"
We worked out the music -- mostly anyway -- for "Bone Black," the pirate chantey that I wrote almost 12 years ago. I've always sang it
a capella. Lord Arux seems keen on sharing it with a friend of his who he claims is a "much better" guitarist. I think it sounds kind of keen as is.
I have to say, that was really, really fun.
Today I'm house hunting and writing. Tally ho!
...but there's still some agony, nonetheless.
I asked The Google what was wrong, and The Google said it was very possible I was having tension headaches, based on the symptoms. And then The Google said that those are often for women the result of estrogen changes from aging. Can I just say how HORRID it is to go through this debacle I call Puberty 2.0? And how even more horrible it is that older women almost never talk about it? I guess I can understand why. Who wants to be reminded that they are falling apart?
Anyway.
The weekend was well spent seeing The Marquise in her latest play and going to Lady G's birthday party, where my sword world converged with my writing world and Lord Arux in a completely smashing way. Len Wein was there. I hugged him hard. I met his wife Chris for the first time, which was grand, albeit not under the best circumstances.
Lord Arux made huge amounts of incredibly delicious fudge. Woo!
And now to write.
All published authors can apply to receive payments from Google under the agreement with the courts. Google is settling a class-action lawsuit involving copyright infringement from its program to digitize all U.S. books.
If you have a book published on or before January 5, 2009, register your book(s) here:
www.googlebookssettlement.com
If you do not find your books listed, you can add them yourself at the Google Settlement site using the ISBN number.
Deadline: January 5, 2010
Here's an
FAQ.
Posted by
Maria Alexander # 10:50 AM
Sony Radio Awards
Remember that show I did with the BBC out on Venice Beach last September, "BBC World Have Your Say Radio: Style, Spin and American Politics"?
The series it was part of -- US'08 BBC Bus: Talking America - BBC World Service News for the World Service -- is
up for a 2009 Sony Radio Award in the Themed Programming category.
Yeah, baby! Yeah!
If you want to listen to the show, I have
an MP3 posted here.
Take it to the street,
beyotch.
Posted by
Maria Alexander # 10:15 PM
Len Wein
Everyone, please keep Len and his family in your thoughts. Their home burned down today and their family dog was killed. I heard about what happened tonight as Lord Arux finished helping them move some things from what was left of the house to a friend's place. I don't want to even think about what other, totally irreplaceable things were destroyed.
I'm very, very sad about their poor dog. Oh, god.
Len is not only a comic book legend in his own time, but one of the nicest people I've ever met. They had insurance, but we all know what bastards insurance people can be. Hopefully some kind of collection can start for him and his family to get back on their feet.
Yesterday was the best April Fool's Day I've ever had. I had a very slight hand in a highly successful exploit of revenge. Sorry, can't talk about it publically, but it pleased me so much, it's going to carry me into the next month.
Last night, though, took the cake...as it were. I met The Quirky Chick and Bella Anthem at Maggiano's at The Grove for our usual once-a-month round of martinis and dinner. When we were seated, sipping our fabulous Belvedere concoctions, the waiter -- a compact fellow with a big smile -- started our service. After a bit, however, he approached our table with one of his colleagues and asked us for a favor. Could we please pretend that he flipped out on us? They wanted to play a gag on their manager.
We said, "Hell yeah!"
"Great!" he said. "We'll even buy you desert."
"Chocolate Volcano Cake?"
"You got it."
He served our yummy, steamy hot bread and then our chopped chicken salad. Then, his colleague came by and said, "She's on her way." Meaning the manager. She'd been told that customers were complaining about their server.
And then there occurred a performance of Academy quality as three middle-aged women went pale as they described in angry, somewhat stunned words how their waiter went bananas and threatened to hit one of them with a plate when they asked for extra dressing. The poor manager looked ill. I thought she was going to topple. But before it could go any farther, the waiter snuck up behind her and said, "Just April Foolin' ya!"
Oh, it was sweet. Almost as sweet as the Chocolate Volcano Cake.
Hope your April Fools was just as rich.
