Maria Alexander News and Updates from TheHandlessPoet.com

Jan 28, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 9:59 PM

Unspeakable Book Signing 

I'll be signing my story "In Her Mirrors, Dimly" in Unspeakable Horror: From the Shadows of the Closet with my friend and fellow contributor Lisa Morton.

Sunday, February 1st
2:00pm
Dark Delicacies
4213 W. Burbank
Burbank, CA 91505
1-818-556-6660

Come on down!

 

 

Jan 26, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 9:52 AM

TFN for the TGB 

Neil just won the fucking Newbury for THE GRAVEYARD BOOK!

 

 

Happy Chinese New Year 

Just wishing everyone Gung Hay Fat Choy!

I'm wearing red today as an auspicious start to a prosperous New Year and I'll put up red Chinese good wishes at work.

May the Ox bring us patience, discipline and financial stability in the year to come!

 

 

Jan 22, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 8:41 PM

Coraline 

Last night, I attended the Beverly Hills press screening of Henry Selick's CORALINE, based on Neil's novella of the same name. The press isn't allowed to publish reviews before February 2nd, but I can say whatever I desire (neener neener).

And I say it was darned wonderful.

I loved how he depicted the characters; whereas Neil is more subtle, Selick dives right in with creepy bombast. (This is the man who brought us THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, after all.) Coraline, the grumpy blue-haired girl, quickly makes a friend (of sorts) with a boy -- Wybie Lovat -- whose invention and interpolation into the film version is pure genius. I completely adored him, especially in the banana slug scene. He and the Other Wybie make terrific foils to and allies with Coraline.

The Cat! Oh, my goodness, how I enjoyed the way Selick captured The Cat, as well as his wildly energetic and hilarious craftings of Mr. Bobinsky, Miss Forcible and Miss Spink. I can't help but mention that I found particularly humorous his fascination with enormously endowed old women. Not sure what the obsession is about but it's entertaining.

The Other Mother was damned creepy. I'm not going to say anything else.

The 3D had none of the problems that I experienced with BEOWULF. In fact, it was nearly flawless. And you must must must stay until the very end. An incredible bit of extended 3D work wended its way into the audience, taking my breath away.

And there you have it.

 

 

The New Adventures by Disney Site (& Me) 

The gorgeous new website has launched!

And, yes, I wrote that, whatever you're looking at. The romance copy on the flash and regional landing pages. All of the photo captions and, by now, most of the itineraries.

I cannot tell you how proud I am of this beautiful new site. Our designers are incredibly talented. This was designed by letting our most senior artist just run amok with her imagination. There were technical constraints, of course. Her ideas were bigger than the tech guys could handle with the budget and time constraints. But ultimately it pays off to let creative people be, you know, creative.

I was only too happy to help out with my words.

 

 

Jan 20, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 2:51 PM

The Weekend Bulleted (and Bullet Riddled) 

What did I do this three-day weekend?

I wrote. A lot. Not as much I'd wanted, though.

Delivered final copy edit notes to the editor of make/shift.

Went out every night except Friday night. Saturday night, I went to The Lair on a surprise visit for the first time since I broke up with The Frenchman. Let's just say it was a far more fun experience for me than for him.

Last night, I drank margaritas with Lord Arux and we chatted about a great many things. In fact, we shut down the place. And surprising things were said.

I bought food at the Farmer's Market. Cleaned up after the kitties, who'd managed to repeatedly destroy the recycling bin.

And I slept. Not a lot. But that was okay.

And now I have a new President. How 'bout you?

 

 

Jan 19, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 8:22 AM

Building Excitement 

I am stupidly excited about tomorrow. Perhaps as Ros suggests on the Beeb we're expecting too much of Obama. That may be, but only history will tell us if it was too much...or too little.

Obama's expectations have been and probably always will be about the service of American citizens. Maybe he's the one expecting too much of us.

All I know is that, on the planetary front, he's got some mother-effing horrendous resistance coming from everyone and that he'll be leading a new revolution, especially in March.

The ride is only going to get more interesting, I'm afraid. I for one just want to keep my spirits up.

 

 

Jan 17, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 5:36 PM

"The Last Word" 

This story from SINS OF THE SIRENS seems to have made the Preliminary Ballot for the Bram Stoker Award under Best Short Fiction. Thank you everyone who read the story. It's only, like, 50 words short of being in the Long Fiction category, so I know that was an investment. I'm thrilled that you found it worthwhile.

The Unspeakable Horror anthology tops the recommendations for Best Anthology, which is much deserved.

Special congrats to John Palisano and Lisa Morton for their chart-topping showings in Short Fiction and Nonfiction. Well done!

I'm crawling back in my cave now.

 

 

Jan 14, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 7:09 PM

Unstoppable 

I now know firsthand why the word "cat" is the root of the word "catastrophe."

Oy.

Well, at least a little of the expensive French cooking oils survived...

 

 

Exactly My Point 

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

 

 

Odd Sources of Excitement 

I'm actually excited to be going to physical therapy tomorrow morning for my shoulder, even though it's going to cost a bundle as the provider is out of network.

I've decided it's totally worth it, especially since I want to sling steel again. Soon.

It might be just part of my overall excitement about The Hunted. I adore and enjoy everyone involved -- which is the best reason to do anything film related.

A bit of excitement of the bad sort came last night when Cairo threw a wine glass off the counter that I'd slovenly left unattended. I heard the crash when I was upstairs, swiftly put on shoes, and ran downstairs to find him standing in the glass as the tip of his pink tongue lapped at a bit of wine dribbling off a shard.

I choked back a scream so that I wouldn't startle him, snatched him by the scruff and took him straight to the bathroom for an exam under harsh light. Somehow the little bastard didn't have a single glimmer of broken glass on him or his mouth! How did he do that? No blood, no scratches, no splinters that I could see. (He was absolutely fine this morning.)

I was a bigger mess afterwards than I had to clean up. It took all of 15 minutes but I swear I felt like I'd sprouted a dozen more gray hairs.

 

 

Jan 13, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 10:27 PM

Kitty Finds Jesus 

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

If Jesus is anything like the Buzz Lightyear doll standing by my television, kitty will bat Him to the floor in 3...2...1...

 

 

Jan 8, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 4:20 PM

Quicky Cairo Update 

His tail is healing but very, very slowly because of his diabetes. The chunk of tumor taken out still looks like a heinous bite out of his flesh.

Dr. Doolittle had to rebandage it. Now he's got a bright green tail instead of light blue.

The good news is that he's lost another pound! He's now 18lbs. In October 2007, he was 28lbs. When I rescued him August 1, 2008, he was 24lbs. If he loses another 4lbs., his diabetes might resolve.

This means, unfortunately, that he's more lithe and able to jump up on things I'd very much rather he didn't. I'm headed to the pet store tonight to see if a bottle of Stay Away will help.

Mmmmm-baby!

 

 

Fingers Crossed for Mr. Cairo 

He gets his tail bandage off this morning!



(So cute!)

This last month his tail's been healing from the tumor removal. There wasn't enough skin to stitch together, so Dr. Doolittle injected the wound with grainy collagen to create a lattice for the skin to grow over.

I'll post an "after" photo tonight.

 

 

Jan 6, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 4:55 PM

Goth Barbie 

Dream House of Pain? I and my unpublished poetry are so there!

 

 

Jan 4, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 8:04 PM

The Bram Joker Award 

I just got spammed by an author in the HWA with a copy of his/her work attached. The author is asking people to read it and to consider "reccomending" it for the Bram Stoker Award.

Seriously. The author wants "reccomendations." That's how it's spelled through the whole damned email.

Meanwhile, a series of mediocre midlisters have commanded almost two dozen recommendations for Best Novel whilst Neil Gaiman's THE GRAVEYARD BOOK has one measly recommendation.

I'm not making this up.

Did you know the Bram Stoker Awards were created to honor sci-fi? And fantasy? Yes, kids! No reason for that piddling World Fantasy Award or the Hugos. The HWA is making sure fantasy and sci-fi writers everywhere get their due recognition, yessirree! There's a whole bunch of good old fashion fantasy and science fictions stories bound for the glory of the Preliminary Ballot! And in turn the World Fantasy Award will make sure Neil's ghastly tale about a toddler raised by ghouls gets a nod. Silly me, thinking a horror award was for horror stories.

Someone call a plumber. I'm dripping sarcasm.

 

 

Jan 3, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 7:42 PM

The Unspeakable Interview 

The interview is up with Vince at Dark Scribe regarding Unspeakable Horror: From the Shadows of the Closet.

It's pretty cool. And short. Read it!

 

 

Ode to My Dead Camera 

Oh camera!
Oh camera!
You are dead.
So very much
Not working at all.
You, who took
The pictures on
My Flickr account.
You, who recorded
The stupid crap on
My YouTube account.
You are a dead thing
Laying there --
No battery can
Revive you.
No warranty can
Replace you.
And my iPhone
Is iPoo
For taking photos.
I'll never forget
Going to Best Buy
With Amelia G
To find you
And making
Mr. Sales Dude
Sad when he heard
I had a boyfriend.
But he sold me you
Oh camera!
Oh camera!
Oh shit!
You were expensive.
This sucks.

 

 

Jan 1, 2009

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 10:11 PM

The Death of a Truly Great Man 

This man changed my life.

He made it possible for me to go to university and get my degree.

"The strength of the United States is not the gold at Fort Knox or the weapons of mass destruction that we have, but the sum total of the education and the character of our people," he once said.

Thank you, Senator Pell. May you live on in your great service to education.

 

 

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