Maria Alexander News and Updates from TheHandlessPoet.com

Jul 24, 2008

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 9:12 PM

Rue Morgue Hearts SINS 

We just got word last night that Rue Morgue published a completely kick-ass review of Sins of the Sirens. The review was written by Justine Warwick. John scanned the magazine page and sent it to us. There are so many beautiful quotes in here, I can't pick just one. It was certainly a great pick-me-up after a very tiring day of meetings at the corporate bat cave.

Thanks Justine and RM!

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Jul 19, 2008

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 8:57 AM

Dr. Horrible's Ph.D. in Wonderfulness 

Hilarious songs! A dorky, lovable villain! The Evil League of Evil! It's just too fabulous for words!

I'm not sure I would have watched Joss Whedon's latest effort up on Hulu if it wasn't for the fact that the scenes of Dr. Horrible's lair were shot in J's house, where I got to ring in the New Year. "Monster House," as he calls it, is pretty much a work of art in and of itself, something so cosmically cool with its mad scientist apparatus and other sci-fi accoutrement that it makes geeks like me drool. It's no wonder that Joss Whedon, J tells us, had to do next to no set dressing in the house.

And so I finally plugged in yesterday and this morning to see all three episodes. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is some kind of major wonderfulness that took me completely off guard. I'd seen a couple episodes of Buffy and didn't particularly care for it. And while I enjoyed Firefly quite a bit, this is something that sails over the heads of those other shows and hits me square in my happy place.

It's about damned time something did, too.

 

 

Jul 16, 2008

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 7:18 AM

A Dresser's Tale 

I can't believe how tired I am. I've been trying to get settled in my new place and it's just not happening as quickly as I'd like. And I seem to be hemorrhaging money.

But on Sunday, something came up that was so spooky and unnerving, I had to open my wallet once more.

I'd just left the Kinky Summer event at Lair de Sade, where I'd bought another corset and had my portrait taken, and pulled up to a small used furniture store. I walked inside with my tape measure to find a short, small something-or-other to park my home theater stuff on by the TV.

That's when I saw a gorgeous antique dresser with bi-level, beveled walnut drawers, a peppered white marble top covering the lower set of drawers. But the truly astonishing thing was that every drawer's handle was a lion's head with a ring pull in its mouth -- the symbol I put in my slave collars. Needless to say, I'd removed it from The Frenchman's collar with a heavy heart. The sight of it on this dresser was deeply moving.

I just kept staring at it, gingery opening and closing the sweetly curved drawers, which were immaculately lined with slightly yellowing newspaper stories.

I asked the store owner how much she wanted for it. She named a sum that was probably 1/8th what it's really worth. And I've been grumbling that the small dresser I have -- which I've had since college -- is falling apart. So, I bought it on the spot.

A highly recommended delivery company is coming Sunday to bringing it to my house. It's going to cost 50% of the dresser's price to move it, but I don't care.

My life is a Borges story. I have no doubt interesting tales will emerge from this...

 

 

Jul 13, 2008

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 10:14 AM

A Sunday Chautauqua to Choke Chopra 

In the move, I discovered that I'd bought oh-so-long ago The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. Having never actually read said book, I peeled off the $8 price sticker and thought, "Law #1 of Success: Sell a very small book for $8."

I decided to take a peek at the chapter on Karma. Therein, I discovered a world of horror when it came to logic, internal consistency and emotional reality.

In short: what a complete crank.

For example, he begins by saying we make choices all the time, that someone might flatter us, but we can choose to not be flattered. That someone can insult us and we can choose to not be insulted. We are not bound by our conditioned responses. Further, our choices affect the world around us. If we make a choice, we accept the results.

Fair enough.

But then he says: When you make any choice -- any choice at all -- you can ask yourself two things: First of all, "What are the consequences of this choice that I'm making?"...Secondly, "Will this choice that I'm making now bring happiness to me and to those around me?" If the answer is yes, then go ahead with that choice. If the answer is no, if that choice brings distress either to you or to those around you, then don't make that choice."

So, what happened to the concept that people can choose their responses? Am I now suddenly responsible for how everyone around me responds? And what about my own happiness? How many times have we in life had to make a choice that was best for us yet we knew would disappoint other people? Chopra suggests we live like cowards and never make a decision that will furrow another's brow. This means never having to deal with conflict and confrontation, nor fully owning our needs. We also then carry a false sense of power, wrongly thinking that we control how people react. Not to mention it's absurd to think one can please all of the people, all of the time.

The very fact that this jackass and his egregious pseudo-spirituality-come-psychological nonsense has become so popular says some pretty heinous things about mankind and what emotional and moral infants they can be.

And that's my anti-sermon for this Sunday morning.

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Jul 9, 2008

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 10:45 PM

Thanks, Microsoft! Ya Bastards... 

I just spent the first 2-1/2 hours since I've been home fixing a major problem with my Internet connection caused by dutifully installing the latest XP update, which happened to conflict with ZoneAlarm. Of course, half the problem was caused by my brilliant proactive approach to Net connection problems before calling tech support, which is to reset the modem and then to promptly forget all of my system login information.

I also came home to a kitten who had locked himself in the bedroom. Doh!

Oh, and I am FUMING at Obama for the FISA fiasco. ARGH!

It's just one of those nights.

 

 

Jul 6, 2008

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 7:01 AM

Sunday is My Lucky Bun Day 

It's great news to see archeology supporting what seems so evident. The problem is that evangelicals will only say the tablet is prophetic rather than an early version of the Gospels.

I do find this whole business about the Jefferson Bible really enlightening and amusing. I mean, the idea of an American president chopping up the New Testament and removing all the miraculous bits is just too funny. I can just imagine what Jefferson would say about the United States today. The first thing he would verbally dispatch would be the unbearably stupid creationist museums.

We need a Jeffersonian president. Badly.

In other news, I've been laying low this holiday weekend, trying to recover from a whole spate of major life changes. I've been hung up on finding a title for my nonfiction proposal project, as it's the only thing between me and my agent getting the proposal into the hands of editors. I think today I'll try to write something else and to hell with titles. But if you have a cherished technique for creating titles, I'm all ears.

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Jul 5, 2008

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 9:06 AM

Apocalyptic Plague Dream 

In an abandoned university book sales room, I was talking with some random folk about the plague that had afflicted society when one woman noticed that she had it -- a patch of green growth on her arm. Everybody freaked out. The plague involved becoming covered in growth of a sort of alien lichen and the body dissolving into pure greenish-yellow vegetation. We all scattered. I recall lots of scurrying and trying to avoid the small colonies of people who were infected. From afar, I saw a woman disintegrate as her body rapidly succumbed to the terrible infection. She turned to crumbled moss against her car hood.

I found a general store where they were still selling supplies. I'd been remarking with people that I couldn't believe some of our infrastructure we had was still standing, such as electricity and water. No one thought it would last much longer. This had, after all, been going on for a couple of weeks. All social networks had collapsed in nearly no time at all.

My boss' boss at Uncle Walt's -- M -- sauntered into the general store. In real life, M is a gentle man with a terrific intellect, sharp wit and dry sense of humor. But now he was carrying a gun. "I'm shooting them on sight," he told me, referring to the infected people. I stared at him, hardly able to compute that this wonderful man I'd known for so long was now killing people. Still, I wanted to stay with him. I felt comforted by him. He encouraged me to come with him, that he'd protect me.

We went off to other places. And then my eye itched. I looked into a mirror hanging on the wall and noticed that I had a small patch of the green lichen in the white of my left eye, below the lid.

M noticed me. We locked eyes for a moment, the gun trembling in his hand. He breathed, "Run."

I did.

I ran until I found one of the plague colonies. People were in differing states of degeneration. They reminded me a bit of Swamp Thing. One woman who was half-covered, half-eaten by the lichen told me, "You don't hear about it, but it happens. People recover." I didn't know if I should believe her, if this was wishful thinking on her part. I decided I was better off alone than chancing greater infection. But I did notice that within the colony there was no fear or paranoia, just caring for one another, whereas on the outside it was pandemonium.

And as I spent time alone in the mountains, within a few days the green patch disappeared from my eye. I was well again.

The woman, it turns out, was almost correct. A few people recovered but essentially the plague had a limited run with our species. Not everyone succumbed, but then the plague simply petered out a few weeks later.

 

 

Jul 4, 2008

Posted by Maria Alexander  # 4:42 PM

Please Help This Gorgeous Puppy! 



Read here about how she was abandoned in front of my friend Jonathan's home, choke-chained and wired to the tree with about six feet of chain and heavy gauge wire.

He cannot find a no-kill shelter that will take her. If there is anything you can do, please let us know!

She is the sweetest thing in the world. And beautiful, as you can see. Don't you want her? :)

 

 

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