Maria Alexander News and Updates from TheHandlessPoet.com

I went back to writing Thrilled! last night and my dreams took a vivid, explosive turn. Lush, rolling hills. An ocean full of glowing sea anemones. The winding, flowery trail of a mountain marathon. Lots of women in my dreams but I can't recall exactly what they were doing.

Yesterday it felt like Spring, probably because the weather is crisp and I'm suddenly extremely busy at work. Among lots of other small projects, I've been called upon to work on a sensitive, internal project. Our Content Director complained yesterday that he originally wanted our Senior Writer for it (he's an ex-Imagineer and brilliant guy all around). My manager told the Director, "Too bad! You get a Maria. She's awesome." (I have a good boss, no? The Director threw up his hands and said, "It's cool. I'll take a Maria.") It's nothing you guys will be able to see but it feels really good to jump in and help strengthen an important project. While not life-changing by any means, it's something that I can clearly see will make lots of people very happy.

What's important, though, is that I'm starting to feel like the fiction is moving forward, which is really great after working so hard on that proposal. It's such a weird thing. I decided to heed my agent's warning not to work too hard on it and I turned it in.

Now to Uncle Walt's for a different kind of marathon.

So, I've been able to get a couple of my writing projects temporarily off my plate and I'm taking a breather. I promised myself a little time today to read Sins of the Sirens. The mail is acting up and I haven't gotten my copies yet, so I had to carefully read one of the copies The Frenchman bought for his family.

Holy. Fucking. SHIT! This is amazing.

A handful of the stories I'd read before -- like Loren's "Still Life in Broken Glass" and Christa's "Firebird," but it's...everything! Just...everything! Take me out of this equation entirely for a moment: a book of these stories by just Loren, Christa and Bel is a beautiful thing. I sort of knew that intellectually, having long loved the work of them all. But to actually see it and experience one inky, blistering story flowing into another like the music on a kickass album is truly awe inspiring.

Women digging their slick stilettos, their tightly laced Doc Martins, their fuzzy slippers into the tar of horror and leaving monstrously deep footprints. It's special. It's different. It's just...wow!

I hope someone notices.

Five great reasons to go to Dark Delicacies tomorrow at 2:00pm:

1) Me

2) Christa Faust

3) Loren Rhoads

4) Sins of the Sirens, a special anthology that includes stories by us and the utterly brilliant Mehitobel Wilson

5) #1-3 signing #4 (the anthology, not Mehitobel)


Be there or be rhomboid! And we know how unattractive rhomboid is, don't we? Hmmmmm?

I know you're all dying to know what astro-babble The Sweetpea has been contemplating about Stupor Tuesday. We had a work slump yesterday once I finished a ton of copy for Hong Kong, so I've been pouring over the charts to see if I can give some predictions that we can compare to what really happens.

I have a major dilemma in what I'm seeing and this happens sometimes when looking at public figures. There's so much press on Hillary, for example, that I can kind of see what was happening to her in public at various times. For Stupor Tuesday, she has a combination of hugely nasty transits, some of which she also had back in April 2007 (transiting Neptune opposing natal Saturn and squaring natal Mercury). When "regular joes" have this transit, they typically feel like they've fucked up their lives in a major way and can't see how. Now, if we go back in the Google archives to what was happening back then, we see headlines like:

1) She breaks records fundraising, but Obama nearly matches.
2) She tries to get the legislative branches to repeal the act that allowed Bush to take troops into Iraq and fails.
3) She loses major Bill Clinton fundraisers.
4) Corruption rumors plague her from the right.
5) An unauthorized biography is announced for publication in June 2007.
6) She performs well in a Democratic debate.
7) She thanks a coach for standing up to Imus.

If we take the press' skewed view at face value, it's not that bad. On balance it's not any more difficult a month than any other she's had except for the last two, although there are certainly murmurs of what was to come now with Obama's rivalry. But if this was someone I didn't know and had no records of, I'd say, " You're going to have a profoundly disappointing day with major, rapid changes in close relationships. You might even meet someone special with whom you fall in love, but your judgment is severely impaired, so, like, DON'T." To Hillary's credit, if she's actually feeling major disappointment and fuckedupedness, she obviously tries to do something about it.

As for Obama, things also look a bit disappointing, but not nearly so. Boy has a bit of Broken Heart Syndrome, in fact (progressed Moon opposite natal Venus) feeling all restrained and stuff in his career (transiting Saturn conjunct natal Pluto in the 10th House). However, he also has this rapid changes in relationships (transiting Uranus trine his ASC), but with the world in general, not just the people close to him. Also, Mercury is going to be Rx then, which affects Hillary a lot more than Obama.

So, the only thing I can conclude is that Stupor Tuesday ain't gonna settle things they way everyone would like.

Incidentally, as soon as I finished The Damned Proposal and this bit of freelancing for the ad agency, I'm going to contact the IIG and try to set up some kind of formal test, if there's one we can agree upon. Since a kind skeptic friend assures me that these guys are friendly, I'm happy to do something with them. It's a great opportunity for me, too, because I'll get to do the sort of experimentation I've always wanted to do. The thing that bothers me about the Randi Challenge is that it's so incredibly hostile that it clearly lacks objectivity. And it also looks like you're just in it for the money. Like everyone, I care about money, but I'd do something with the IIG even if they didn't offer any money. In fact, the same skeptic friend gave me the names of two other objective groups, but it turned out they all closed down their investigative programs. This makes whatever the IIG is doing even more important.

Labels: politics, skepticism

I don't know about you, but the other night I was listening to the radio on my way home from work when I heard the Republican "solution" to the health care crisis, which essentially boils down to everyone buying their own insurance so that the "free market" can control prices.

(Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm kinda hoping I am.)

My reaction was something along the lines of, "WHAAAAA? WHAAAAAAAAA? WHAAAAAT FUCKING PLANET DO THESE PEOPLE LIVE ON?"

Don't they realize that millions of people try to buy their own insurance but are turned down by the agencies? Don't they realize it's as difficult to buy a private policy from a health insurance company as it is to get a sentimental, Broadway-bawling confession of man-man love from Senator Larry Craig? If you're lucky, you might get one of those emergency policies that only covers you when you are run over by Cheney's Hummer and put in the hospital.

I am totally agape at this so-called solution. Like, who are these people? Seriously, who are they? Because this goes way beyond the usual out-of-touch politicians syndrome. To make this work, they'd have to do something incredibly un-Republican and anti-free market, which would be to essentially legislate the insurance companies into granting policies to whoever wanted them. Is that what they're advocating?

I think it was McCain who was speaking and he said that having "free care like in Europe" meant that people would be delayed care. That's a bunch of horseshit. While there's the occasional problem with major medical procedures -- and that's a serious consideration -- any day of the week in France, for example, you can walk into a doctor's office and get care. I did, and I was a foreigner. You even get housecalls. No questions asked.

Not that I think the Democratic solution is any better, but they're a wee bit less out of touch as these characters. This is idiocy at its recent grandest.

Yesterday around a quarter to noon, I got a call from ADT on my cell phone at work. They told me all three buttons on my control panel had been pushed: the fire department, police and "panic."

Two things went through my mind. 1) This is a helluva glitch and 2) The Frenchman was in trouble, tore open the alarm panel, and hit the keypad with an open hand (which is exactly what I'd do if I were in trouble).

ADT tried to send the fire department, but I told them not to. The police were already there, as the "panic" button signal essential goes straight to them without a follow up to me. I kept ADT on the phone as I tried multiple times to reach The Frenchman on my work phone to no avail. I fled work, jumped in the car, and screamed down the highway to our house. As I reached home, ADT said that "someone" entered the correct code to turn off the alarm, which was super weird. Officer #1 was waiting for me and for a backup officer. When the backup arrived, they took my keys and went into the house. "Do you have anything in there we should know about?" Officer #1 asked.

"Yes," I replied. "An extremely friendly kitten. Please don't let him out!"

"We'll see what we can do."

The cops went inside and set off the alarm again. Robie was right there at the doorway, wanting outside, but they reached down and held him in until they finished bellowing into the house. "Police officers! Identify yourself if you're inside!"

Nothing but the deafeningly shrill trill of the alarm. They shut the door behind them.

After some nervous minutes, they emerged and said to my relief that they couldn't find anything. They let me in and I shut off the alarm. They both then looked puzzled but slightly amused.

Officer #2 grinned. "Your kitten really IS friendly! He followed us to every single room!"

I picked up Robie and held him up to the officer. He grinned more widely and wiggled his finger at Robie. "You're really cute. And I'm really allergic."

"Oh, then I likes you deh mostest!" I said in Robie's voice. I turned to Officer #1. "Thank you! We're sorry this was weird!"

He gave Robie a quick scritch and they left. We didn't get fined (at least, not on the spot). ADT said they would pay for it because, as it turns out, The Frenchman hadn't been home for two hours when it happened. And this is the second time something like this has occurred.

The adrenaline really threw my appetite and everything out of whack for the rest of the day. But I'm sure relieved that nothing was wrong!

Labels: cats

What I meant to write about before Obama and other business seized my brain was that I just finished reading the best damned book I've read in years: Homicide Special: A Year with the LAPD's Elite Detective Unit by Miles Corwin.

This book grabbed me, strapped me up and made me watch in delicious detail the goings on in LAPD's elite homicide squad as they investigated a number of gripping murders, some right in my old neighborhood. Only three of the murders covered were headliners, like Cosby's son and Robert Blake. The rest were just samples of the hundreds of cases they process every year, hampered at times by the department's own resource shortages more than anything else. (Unless it's a high-profile case or the suspect is a flight risk, it can take years to get a DNA analysis, for example.)

The saddest part of this book was that it ended on the Robert Blake case before the tragic conclusion. It ripped me up seeing how much evidence the detectives had against Blake and how stressful the investigation was for them, knowing that the jury later let the bastard walk away.

Corwin is such a talent. He's also the bestselling author of The Killing Season and has a new book out that follows twelve exceptional South Central kids in a school program for the gifted. I have nothing but admiration for him.

So, there was an upset. Bigger than I read, but still an upset.

It was close and it was Hillary's state, after all. Plus, the Clintons came out and tous les deux began bashing Obama. Very classy. Unfortunately, that works. However, Clinton squandered just about all the respect I had for her.

The thing is, if Obama ever starts really biting back, he's got the mad skillz with words and there might be nothing left but char where Hillary once stood if he ever gets started on her.

And I think he should.

Speaking of mad skillz, I'm still writing away. Another 1000 words last night. I'm very tired.

Labels: politics

How is it that the author of this New York Times article could write a six-page piece and yet not really tell anyone what Mormons actually believe that puts off evangelicals? It's as if Feldman, the author, knows only what everyone else does about Mormonism from a distance and has no intimate knowledge of the religion himself.

It's not just the heterodoxical books, the history or the secret ceremonies, although they all play a role. The bias is against Mormon theology itself. Among other things, Mormons believe they can become gods, and that Jesus and Satan are spirit brothers. This is fantastically terrifying to an evangelical, totally offsetting the net worth of their common social interests, of which they have many. The church has a weird and sordid past that dallied with violence, polygamy and racism, but today there's nothing on the surface to explain why Romney is constantly dancing on his toes around his beliefs when addressing the evangelical front. Except, that is, the wacky theological points that Feldman avoids entirely.

This ignorance -- or avoidance -- in an NYT spread is particularly bothersome because it only highlights the absurdity of the dilemma. So, Jesus isn't the spirit brother of Satan? And you can support your fallen angel philosophy with scripture? You can't, can you? Satan is an intertestamental development. The serpent, Job's accusor, and the fallen Lucifer were not cohesively woven together in the idea of Satan as we know and love him for three centuries.

So, of course, it's ludicrous for evangelicals to snub Mormons in favor of their own, equally odd and baseless ideas. Despite Feldman's academic posturing, he's playing claws in with everyone and not bringing this to light. He only hints at it in the vaguest terms.

But we don't want to talk about that in the NYT. We just want to wonder from afar "What is it about Mormonism?" without getting elbow deep in reality. That would mean we'd have to actually know something and we don't want that.

Labels: politics

So what's up for New Hampshire on the 8th? I'm sure you're all dying to know! (ha ha)

Obama: Still has all the same magical stuff going on. Plus...he has transiting Mercury in Aquarius opposing natal Mercury in Leo. Will there be an upset? Something he says or somehow communicates is going to oppose what he's been saying all along. Not unusual for any politician, really. I don't think anything terrible will ultimately come of it because transiting Venus in Sagittarius, the sign of the cheerleader, will be trine his natal Sun the next day. Translation: Who doesn't love ya, baby?

Hillary: Her life will still be teh suck. She has these same transits and worse on election day. It's only going to get darker for her next month, too. I know this rubs all you Calvinists in your happy spot, but I get tied up in philosophical knots when I think about it.

Edwards: I forgot that I have his chart online. He had some lovely stuff yesterday and today, which will be ebbing by the 8th. Transiting Jupiter in Capricorn has been trine his natal Venus, bringing him increased social favor. This transit also indicates possible increases of money and lurrrrve. But next month is going to be much better for him. His progressed Moon will be conjunct his natal Jupiter. (Translation = Booyah! for about a month.) In fact, Edwards has a whole lot of booyah for the next few years, as progressed Jupiter (Papa Booyah) is conjunct his Sun. That's a looooong-ass progression. Years long. It brings fame, but can easily bring pride, loopy optimism and obnoxious bouts of self-importance.

I guess that describes a typical American President, doesn't it?

Anyway, it looks like he'll do well in New Hampshire, too, but Obama's still leading the pack.

Labels: politics

Here at Uncle Walt's, someone bought for our library something called Cathy's Book, an alternate reality game (ARG) for young adults. It's beautifully made with some terrific game collateral tucked into the side pocket.

I just finished reading the "book," which is apparently Cathy's journal and sketch book combined. The novel is well-written and compelling, for sure. The sketches inside are fun, too. The publishers made a deal with the devil (CoverGirl) to get the book advertised on the CoverGirl websites by using references to products, which they do as gracefully as can be expected.

But by the time I finished the book, I had no reason to complete the game part. A potential player is supposed to be drawn into Cathy's world and visit websites listed in the book, call phone numbers, solve puzzles. However, once I reached the end of the novel, it concluded. They lead you to believe that Cathy's book has been lost, when in fact she never loses it in the story. She records everything that happens, then returns to her family and friends in one piece. All's well that ended well, the mysteries explained by the last page.

There is a place in the plot where she's kidnapped. If they had ended the book there and gave us the game clues to find her, I'd have been hooked. I'd already figured out a couple of major lines in the story because 1) I'm a writer and 2) I always assume the supernatural is at work in these games. While Cathy's a bit stereotyped as a teenager and not always likeable, the situation is intriguing enough that I was willing to get brain blisters looking for her.

Alas, I know where she is and what happened. All suspense is resolved. For me, there's now no reason to pursue the game pieces except for the sheer time-wasting factor. Maybe I missed something. Perhaps they're related to Victor's enigmatic letter at the end? Or is it the next book -- Cathy's Key -- that's coming out? The momentum's lost, regardless.

I like the idea of ARGs but I've not found one that isn't horribly flawed. Maybe because it's such a new art form? Sean Stewart, who wrote Cathy's Book and was head writer on The Beast. Maybe in Cathy's Book he forgot that you can't have it both ways: you can't control the story and the game at the same time. Those of us who are veteran LARP writers and players know this.

Back to the Unfiction boards...

I've not had time to do any thorough astrological analysis. But after reading on the Beeb that three of the six Iowans they're following are voting for Obama, I thought I'd run his math.

It's looking damned good despite the polls.

Progressed Vertex conjunct the natal Midheaven: This alone doesn't mean a lot except that January 4th is a fateful day for his career.

Progressed Moon conjunct natal Jupiter in the 3rd in Aquarius: This was the kicker for me. It's naturally a very happy time lasting a few weeks.

Progressed Moon trine natal Moon in the 7th: His emotional state will flow well with his public activities and partnerships (7th house).

Transiting Saturn in Virgo sextile natal Neptune in Scorpio the 12th: Concrete communications with the world stimulate his secret ideals around power. (Ooo!)

Without looking at Hillary's chart, I know hers isn't so sparkling because transiting Pluto will be squaring her natal Moon as it enters the 7th house (translation: major emotional upheaval as she enters the public sphere). For a contrast, when Neil had Pluto entering his 7th house, he was having issues around being "recognizable." Described in his blog, there was some incident in particular at a theater he and Maddy had gone to when the transit was exact. However, unlike Hillary, he didn't have anything else challenging going on.

Anyway, that's my half-assed prediction. Can't wait to see what happens in the caucaus.

Labels: politics